


Baking Bad

by awkward_taco056



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Baking, Based on True Events, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, it's not super in your face so yeah, lowkey amedot, there was an attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 03:31:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15185798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkward_taco056/pseuds/awkward_taco056
Summary: Peridot tries to show her appreciation to Steven (and especially Amethyst) by baking cookies.





	Baking Bad

**Author's Note:**

> I want y'all to know that this literally happened to me four months ago. I tried to bake cookies, and, well...

It was a cool evening in Beach City. Peridot stood in the Universe kitchen, staring down a counter full of ingredients. She was grateful beyond words for Amethyst and Steven cheering her up after Lapis took off, and she decided she was going to treat them both with the human dessert dubbed “cookies”.

Peridot was very confused about the name for quite some time. “Why are they called _cookies_ if you _bake_ them?” She mumbled to herself, scratching her head. Never mind that, however. She had her heart set on treating them, especially Amethyst. She was always so encouraging and kind, and Peri appreciated that quite a bit. She felt her cheeks flush. Even though she had been roommates with Lapis for so many months, she had had a bit of a crush on Amethyst for quite some time now. While of course she wanted to treat Steven, too, she was destined on impressing her favorite quartz. She was also determined to do this by herself and prove to herself that she was capable. And besides, according to her research, baking was science! While it wasn’t technological science, it was science nonetheless. How hard could it be?

She preheated the oven, then rummaged around the kitchen only to find that she didn’t have a mixer on hand. She couldn’t even find a whisk. She sighed and just went with what she could find; a spoon.

She glanced at the first step: Cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy, about 3-4 minutes. That didn’t sound too difficult. However, she did lack an electronic mixer, hmm…

She turned to her trusty tablet for answers. Apparently you could cream it by hand, but it was a lot more work. Nothing she couldn’t handle. She read the measurements again, then calculated. The recipe said it could make 12-14 cookies, but Peridot wanted to make more. She decided to double the recipe, since Amethyst tended to eat a lot anyway. She did some mental math. The original recipe called for 3/4 cup room temperature salted butter, so she grabbed a half stick of butter and realized there was a problem. She had no idea what a cup and a half of butter looked like. Her first idea was to melt it down and measure it that way. Not seeing the flaw in that plan, she stuck it in the microwave and melted it all the way down. She then realized her mistake: the recipe called for _room_ temperature. She groaned, then stuck it in the refrigerator and waited a couple minutes. She checked on it. Still liquid. Ugh. She didn’t have time for this. She stuck it in the freezer and dug out some more butter. She squeezed that bit into a bowl, then grabbed another stick and studied the wrapper. Turned out, there was a way to tell how much butter there was. Oops. She softened the butter in the microwave, then stuck that in. Finally she put in what she guessed was close enough to a cup and a half. She winced at how strange and slimy the butter felt.

Next was the sugar. She was now faced with a new problem. There were no dry measuring cups around. All she had was a tablespoon. She scooped the sugar mindlessly into the bowl, grumbling to herself how inefficient this was.

When she went to cream it, it posed to be more… demanding than she has hoped. Her arm got very tired and she accidentally spilled some sugar on the floor. After five minutes of struggling she gave up and guessed that it was “fluffy” enough. The next step said to add eggs and vanilla extract. She cracked four eggs in and poured in the vanila. She had to fight the urge not to taste the vanilla, as Steven had warned her once. Peridot realized quickly that the container was now much too small and poured her mixture into a bigger one. She grimaced at how chunky and strange it looked. Would this really look as good as it did in the pictures when she was all done? She ignored her doubts and struggled once again to mix everything. Desperate, she grabbed a potato masher to try and smush it together, but that just made matters worse when the globs of butter got stuck in it.

“Oh my stars, why isn’t this _working_ ” she felt herself getting frustrated, so she moved on and looked to see what other ingredients were due next. She grabbed the brown sugar and opened it.

“Huh, strange that the measurements calls for the exact same amount of brown sugar as white…” she observed, squinting at the recipe. She realized (slightly horrified) that they didn’t, and that she had in fact mixed up the measurements.

“Oh no” she glanced back at her batter. Would this have a major effect? She prayed that it wouldn’t. Brandishing her tablespoon, she decided her best course of action was to try and “balance out” the sugars by adding the original amount of regular sugar she had needed. When she saw how difficult scooping the brown sugar was, she just “guesstimated”. Then she moved on to the flour.

“2 ¼ cups… double that and get 4 ½ cups… and that would be…” she did the math. “72 tablespoons,,,” Absolutely not. Lacking the patience, she grabbed the flour and dumped in what she thought was 4 ½ cups.

“That should do it” she said to herself. She struggled to mix it all together, and continued to spill things on the floor. She then added the cornstarch, again, spilling some on the floor. She made a mental note to mop before Pearl returned and freaked out. She was such a stickler for cleanliness, ugh. Last but not least, Peridot added the chocolate chips. The cookie dough looked… less than appetizing. She couldn't fathom how Steven or anyone else could ever think of eating something like this raw, but she figured it was just her bias. The recipe did say the batter would be thick, and thick it was.Well, sort of. She had a hard time getting them on the cookie tray, and had dough left over. Oh well.  
Pleased with her work, Peridot very carefully stuck the tray into the oven. She watched videos on her tablet as she waited for them to bake. Before she knew it, the 12 minutes were up, and she quickly ran to the oven to see the results.

She was floored to see that they didn’t turn out at all like the pictures at all. In fact, this… _thing_ barely resembled cookies. Contrary to the thick and fluffy ones the pictures boasted, Peri’s were as flat and thin as paper and had melted and fused into each other. Before she had time to even react, she heard footsteps. _Oh no._ Pearl must have been back with the others! 

“Hi Peridot!” Steven threw open the door and greeted her warmly.

“Yo yo what’s up P-Dot?” Amethsyt said coolly, brushing her bangs out of her face.

“Oh my stars what happened in here?!” Pearl was horrified at the magnitude of the mess. How could one gem cause so much havoc in a single hour??

Peridot sheepishly faced the others. “W-well,” she stammered. “I wanted to express my thanks to Steven and Amethyst for their hospitality after Lapis left, so I tried to bake cookies.

Steven went star-eyed. “Awww Peridot! That’s so sweet!”

“Looks like those cookies aren’t the only sweet thing in here, huh?” Peridot blushed at Amethyst’s comment, then slowly turned around to grab the tray.

“Unfortunately, they didn’t um… come out the way I wanted…”

“Aw, c’mon, Peridot, how bad could they be?” Steven was optimistic until Peridot presented her valiant attempt to the others, not hiding her embarrassment. His smile shifted into a mild grimace as he realized just how much

“Oh dear…” Pearl said, taking a good look at the “cookies”. “It looks like you messed up the recipe somewhere along the way…”

Peridot tried to pick one up, but all it did was fall apart. “You’d be correct with that assumption…” She hung her head dejectedly. “I tried doubling the recipe and I didn’t have all the materials, and, well…”

“Aww, it’s okay Peridot, it’s the thought that counts!” Steven reassured her.

“Yeah dude, baking is like, crazy hard” Amethyst slung her arm around her shoulder. “The fact that you stuck it out til the end really says a lot.”

“Really?”

“Of course, nerd.I woulda just gave up and eaten it as is”

Peridot finally cracked a smile, and soon started to giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Pearl asked as her eyes darted around the kitchen at the various spills.

“Look how ridiculous they look!” Peridot couldn’t hold in the oncoming fit of giggles. “I messed up so badly! It’s hilarious!”

Amethyst started to snicker too. “I didn’t wanna offend you, but ya gotta admit, it is pretty funny.

Steven and Pearl chuckled too, succumbing to the absurdity of it all.

Amethyst and Peridot took one look at each other and lost it completely. Both cracked up uncontrollably, each laughing so hard that they snorted.

“I-I mixed up so many measurements!” Peridot wheezed,sitting the tray down so it wouldn’t hit the floor. 

Amethyst doubled over with laughter. “Dude did you even use any measuring tools?”

“Not really! You clods barely have any!” Peridot said between gasps.

Steven went over and picked up the tray. “So, should we just trash these? Heh, I don’t think I can eat these and live to tell the tale.”

“Nah dude” Amethyst said, wiping her eyes. “Lemme have ‘em.”

Peridot’s eyes lit up. “Really?!”

Ame grinned. “Absolutely, dude. I might need like, a spoon or somethin’ though”

Pearl handed her a spoon. “Enjoy your erm, treat” She inwardly shuddered at the thought of consuming the abomination.

“Oh! Pearl, I’ll tidy up the kitchen, it wasn’t my intention to leave such a copious amount of spills”

“It’s okay, Peridot” Pearl said gently. “You should go ahead and join Amethyst, I’m sure she’d love to hear your adventures in baking.”

“Yeah, Peri, we got this!” Steven said cheerfully. “Go hang with Amethyst!”

“Haha, what, are ya shy, nerd?” Ame teased good-naturedly.  
Peridot's cheeks flushed as she quickly shot back “No you clod!” Ame just smirked and took her by the arm. “C’mon, I wanna hear all about how you goofed up so bad.” Peridot felt her face get even hotter at the gentle touch, but eagerly followed her purple companion.

And so, despite all the odds, Amethyst ate (and enjoyed) all of Peridot’s “cookies”, and even finished off the raw batter, much to Pearl’s disgust. She was going to comment on it, but then she saw how overjoyed Peridot looked, animatedly retelling her tale. She instead smiled to herself and shook her head.

“Those two really bring out the best in each other, huh?” Steven said quietly to Pearl as he wiped the counter.

They glanced at the other two, Amethyst scooping cookie into her mouth as she listened and laughed along with Peridot.

“They sure do, Steven” Pearl said with another smile, as she couldn’t help but think of Ruby and Sapphire. “They sure do.”

**Author's Note:**

> ...yeah. Unlike Peri, I threw my cookies out lmao  
>  Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
